Go, you chicken fat, go away!

April 28, 2024

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Location:

Mesa,AZ,USA

Member Since:

May 12, 2008

Gender:

Male

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

~~Run a half marathon in under two hours.~~

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.

Personal:

I am married and have six kids.

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, Doone, Eight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, Jun, Kelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RAD, Rhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

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Miles:	This week:	0.00	Month:	0.00	Year:	0.00
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles:						803.99
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles:						204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles:						149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles:						87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles:						800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles:						88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles:						180.06
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles:						802.77
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles:						56.47
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles:						800.75
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles:						9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles:						8.23

Tue, Jan 29, 2013

Total Distance

5.42

I wanted to kill myself on my run this evening. Mostly because I couldn't get that song "It's Friday, Friday" out of my head.

I heard this poem today and I liked it -

have you ever shattered a snow shovel?
have you ever dropped your car keys in two feet of fresh snow?
have you ever had to get our of your driveway using an axe and a rake?
has your "tire pressure low" light ever been on for three weeks straight?
has your engine oil ever turned to the consistency of mayonnaise?
have you ever lost part of your nose due to the elements?
have you ever had a nose bleed strictly because the wind was so cold and dry?
do you have to wear special winter balm on your lips to keep them from splitting open?
have you ever had to wash your eyes out with a boric acid solution because they were so dry and blood shot from the cold wind?
have your knuckles ever started bleeding because your hands were too dry?
have you ever had an ice beard, even though you are a woman?

Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Miles: 5.42

Weight: 0.00

Comments

From allie on Tue, Jan 29, 2013 at 19:59:11 from 97.117.83.221

please.

From Burt on Tue, Jan 29, 2013 at 20:14:12 from 72.223.80.89

I think Oprah wrote it.

From Burt on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 07:24:45 from 72.223.80.89

Scary. Even scarier. Scariest of them all.

From SlowJoe on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 07:29:00 from 155.219.241.10

I knew I was doing things backwards...I used special winter balm on my eyes and boric acid on my lips.

From allie on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 07:32:26 from 161.38.221.168

omg, joe. call poison control.

From SlowJoe on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 07:43:46 from 155.219.241.10

I can't see the numbers on my telephone.

From allie on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 07:48:58 from 161.38.221.168

switch it to braille format. press *46 and then wait for the prompt. i'm here to e-walk you through this.

From SlowJoe on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 08:26:38 from 155.219.241.10

Too late - I injested to much boric acid...getting sleepy....

From Burt on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 08:39:38 from 71.216.109.214

Oh Joe. The tingling in the cornea should have been your first clue.

From The Quiet Pirate on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 09:59:35 from 152.26.230.60

What if I put the boric acid on my beard?

From Burt on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 10:01:11 from 71.216.109.214

Put it on your hairy chest.

From The Quiet Pirate on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 10:34:26 from 152.26.230.60

Aarrrrgghhh....should'a known! Now I'll have to send back my Nad's hair removal kit.

From Lily on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 14:09:37 from 67.199.178.95

Put it on Burt's tab.

From Lily on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 14:09:56 from 67.199.178.95

Let's turn those lyrics into a rap. A mormon rap.

From Burt on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 14:10:52 from 71.216.109.214

You might say I'm a good little...sunbeam!

From Lily on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 14:11:02 from 67.199.178.95

AHAHAHAHAHAHA ALLIE! Your response has me up in giggley wigglies over here. Here being the North Pole.

From Lily on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 14:11:47 from 67.199.178.95

Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam, but Mother Nature won't supply the Vit D

From allie on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 14:52:58 from 97.117.83.221

people in the plaaaaace

put your hands in the aiiiiirrr

jesus wants sunbeaaaaaams

and mother nature don't caaaaaare

From Burt on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 21:25:45 from 72.223.80.89

Wow. That turned really wrong, really fast. Easy on the blasphemy there girls.

From Lily on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:06:32 from 67.199.178.95

Whateryoutalkingaboutburp?

From Burt on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:07:54 from 72.223.80.89

Boom Lily! You just got chastised!

From seeaprilrun on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:11:19 from 68.102.189.33

omg! I never knew mormons were so cool!

From Burt on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:15:03 from 72.223.80.89

We're totally cool. We rap. We shine our shoes. We stack chairs.

From Tara on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:25:14 from 75.169.143.158

Okay, this one was a good one to read, especially the comments!

It's funny you should bring up an ice beard because the other day I noticed increased hair on my upper lip! This happened right after I mistakenly put engine oil instead of mayonnaise on my sandwitch. It just gets too confusing in the winter! Anyway, shortly after this my nose began to bleed. Obviously I was bleeding out so I sniffed a little boric acid solution to stop the bleeding. Well, it worked but created other issues. Somehow this all led up to a nice little ice beard. Although awkward, it certainly is a good conversation starter. What does any of this have to do with snow anyway? Oh well, happy running and good job tackling 5.42 miles Burt!

From Burt on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:33:53 from 72.223.80.89

Um Tara. We know this about you already. We were making fun of you.

From seeaprilrun on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:35:18 from 68.102.189.33

Tracyyyyy! no. oh no. to stop bleeding sniff cocaine. seriously, ask any ER doc. saves lives. on another topic, I have a blonde mustache. currently requires no intervention but my understanding is someday it will. I should learn more about the hair removal kits mentioned in this post.

From Burt on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:40:40 from 72.223.80.89

Tracy? Don't you mean Kara?

From Tara on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:44:15 from 75.169.143.158

Burt- Oh good, as long as we are all on the same page. I'm up there with Brittany Spears, any attention is good. I think Oprah would say the same thing. BTW, I somehow missed your post about hating Oprah and what the heck is Oprah's Uchs....did I spell that right? Highly doubtful, I know.

April- Just shave it off. I have to shave my entire face, back and chest daily now. That boric acid will mess you up. It has really made race day prep more challenging. I'm okay with hairy legs, but the rest is just...well...a manly curse! Glad to get this off my chest finally.

From Tara on Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 22:45:38 from 75.169.143.158

I get called worse things at work. I like Tracy!

From allie on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 05:53:28 from 97.117.83.221

wow. that turned really hairy, really fast. easy on the body hair there, girls.

From allie on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 06:00:55 from 97.117.83.221

kacy: i've been using a product for about 6.5 months to control body hair, and thus far it has been the best solution (hands down). i use regular palmolive dish soap -- unscented so that james doesn't catch on, but if you prefer zesty citrus, mountain rain, etc -- just know you have options.

this soap produces 3-4 times more suds per square inch, making body hair removal smooth and razor burn free.

alternatively, you could look into the new full-body track suits that nair just started selling (i wear-tested one three months ago). the fabric that touches your skin is coated in sticky wax, so when you take your clothes off after a run (do you do that?), it takes all the hair along with it.

this might be a good option for you since you mentioned the pre-race hassle. just wear a nair wax track suit to the start line and rip it off nonchalantly. you may want to bring a friend or licensed body cream practitioner to help put skin-soothing lotion on after you rip off the suit, but that can be arranged through the nair website.

you could also try amazon for more generic track suit brands -- probably cheaper.

good luck, torrie.

From SlowJoe on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 07:51:57 from 155.219.241.10

allie, terry and april - you are all missing the forest for the trees here. Body hair, in addition to providing warmth during a cold winter, vibrates in the wind while running and stimulates the muscles, increasing power and running economy. So my scientific recommendation is to let it grow out to 4-6 inches then maintain it at that length.

From allie on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 08:04:47 from 161.38.221.168

just to clarify, does that include upper lip hair? and would you recommend braiding it for race distances longer than 5k?

From SlowJoe on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 08:08:30 from 155.219.241.10

ESPECIALLY upper lip hair. Crimp it for a 5k, braid it for a marathon. It's all in my scholarly paper, published on Yahoo Answers.

From The Quiet Pirate on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 17:40:24 from 64.134.189.55

Thank you everyone for this delightfully awesome blog episode. We're enjoying a dinner of fine-dining at our local scottish restaurant and laughing out loud at inappropriate noise levels as we read these comments over and over. We will be stopping by Wal-mart to buy a crimper for our training run tomorrow morning.

From Tara on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 21:01:20 from 75.169.143.158

My husband just asked, "Did Allie really wear test one of those track suits." Lol. If so, I wonder if Nair makes a balaclava?

From Tara on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 21:04:05 from 75.169.143.158

Also, just to clarify, this is Teressa (don't let the screen name above confuse you otherwise.) I also go by Kaci, Tracy, Kara, Terry and Torrie. Tara is just offensive.

From Burt on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 at 21:09:50 from 72.223.80.89

You guys are silly. SILLY!!

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