Go, you chicken fat, go away!

Run4Fun Trail Run

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Location:

Mesa,AZ,USA

Member Since:

May 12, 2008

Gender:

Male

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

~~Run a half marathon in under two hours.~~

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.

Personal:

I am married and have six kids.

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, Doone, Eight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, Jun, Kelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RAD, Rhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

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Miles:	This week:	0.00	Month:	0.00	Year:	0.00
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles:						803.99
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles:						204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles:						149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles:						87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles:						800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles:						88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles:						180.06
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles:						802.77
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles:						56.47
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles:						800.75
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles:						9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles:						8.23

Sat, Apr 02, 2011

Race: Run4Fun Trail Run (3.19 Miles) 00:26:53, Place overall: 1

Total Distance

3.80

I almost forgot about this race until yesterday. My friend Sheldon from my Utah Ragnar team told me about it. He's good friends with the race director. I think the RD was bitten with the running bug recently and wanted to see what it would be like to organize his own 5k race. He did all right. He only charged $5 or $10 if you wanted a shirt.

Well, it turns out that the RD was the nephew of my bishop. When bishop showed up to run I was surprised because I thought he was going up to Salt Lake City for conference. Guess he had a change of plans. Anyway, when we registered for the race we were required to give our height and weight. I think the RD came up with some kind of formula to stagger our starts based off height, weight, and gender. I must be pretty heavy because only about 4 people started before me.

Bishop had an 11 minute head start. I couldn't catch him. Sheldon had a 5 minute start, and I was surprised that I caught him only about 1.5 miles into it, if that. He's a pretty good runner, but he's not in shape right now.

There was a girl that started 7 seconds before me. Or she was supposed to. Bishop's brother was getting us started, but he wasn't calling out the time so we could know when to go. I just stood there for about 7 to 10 seconds until I asked him if it was ok for me to go. The girl looked like she was in pretty good shape. I never could catch her, but I stayed right behind her the whole time. This was a bit of a disadvantage for her because a couple of times she had to stop to make sure she was going the right way. I just had to follow her.

The race started out on the road for about 0.6 miles. It was downhill, and I noticed I was cruising along pretty effortlessly in the low 6's. I reined it in because I knew I would be hitting the hills soon. The first mile was 7:07. The second mile was hillier and rockier. I hit this one in 8:35. The third mile, 9:47, was even hillier and rockier. I kept saying to myself, "Don't lose that farmer's tan." Yeah, the girl had a nice farmer's tan going. However, I did lose her for a bit as she started putting a gap between us after a particularly tough hill. But I had run the last 0.3 miles of the race during my warm up. I knew there was a very crazy steep downhill part into a wash, then crazy uphill out of it. After that, it was smooth sailing to the finish. I knew I could make my move there. Luckily the wash slowed her down, and I was able to make up some ground. I averaged 7:20 for the last 0.19 miles. I think I finished 3 or 4 seconds behind her. But I have to wait 'til he posts the results on Facebook to see how I did.

Oh, one more thing, it's getting stinkin' hot here. The high today is supposed to 93!

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 3.80

Weight: 0.00

Comments

From Jim Kern on Sat, Apr 02, 2011 at 17:30:51 from 98.202.241.209

Nice report. Congrats on a good race. Heat like that kills me.

From RivertonPaul on Sat, Apr 02, 2011 at 17:32:26 from 174.253.180.166

Way to keep the farmers tan.

From Carina on Sat, Apr 02, 2011 at 23:06:51 from 204.15.86.83

Nice race, I have to say I'm a little jealous of the warm temperature. Not for running, just in general.

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 00:28:47 from 72.223.90.79

Jim - thanks. It can get to me, too, but it was early enough in the morning that it was probably only in the high 70's.

Paul - I wish I had a farmer's tan. It would imply that I had a partial tan to begin with.

Carina - With the heat comes the sweat. My goodness I was a sweaty mess by the time I was done.

From DaleG on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:03:05 from 174.52.230.9

Nice job, Burt!!! I was just telling my son how funny your race reports are and then I read it to him and he said "That wasn't funny at all, dad."

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:05:09 from 72.223.90.79

I know Dale. I knew I blew it this time. The best I could come up with was farmer's tan and I'm fat. Read him the one when my shorts were falling down. That's always good for a laugh.

From DaleG on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:08:40 from 67.2.13.107

He lost interest and left the room.

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:10:34 from 72.223.90.79

REJECTED!!

From DaleG on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:13:43 from 67.2.13.107

It's ok, I'll lure him back tomorrow and have him read some other race reports...If he doesn't, I'll take his XBox away. LOL

From DaleG on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:14:06 from 67.2.13.107

Or I'll spray water on his face.

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:17:12 from 72.223.90.79

That's some serious good parenting. I've taught you well.

From DaleG on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 01:21:27 from 67.2.13.107

Now I just need to grab the pebble from your hand and I'll be good to go.

From SlowJoe on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 11:09:45 from 184.79.24.255

Wow, how do you get an 11-minute head start? Nice race, and report, and a good strategy staying behind farmer's tan and letting her figure out which way to go.

From Twinkies on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 11:57:14 from 67.182.252.148

Well done Burt. You are becoming more of a trail runner.

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 12:39:44 from 72.223.90.79

Joe - You have to be REALLY fat. Sorry Bishop.

Twinkies - I do enjoy it, but I'm not very good at it.

From flatlander on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 13:16:44 from 75.199.63.146

Sounds like fun, love cheap races, they are hard to find around here. Good job.

From allie on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 15:28:43 from 174.23.241.50

did you wear a watch? huh? HUHHHH?

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 15:45:24 from 72.223.90.79

Mark - make your own cheap fun race.

allie - tick tock. tick tock.

From april27 on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 18:30:45 from 99.188.251.180

93? man I thought it was hot and muggy here. the high is 63. Yuck!

From Seth on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 18:55:22 from 75.169.133.61

Nice work! I love a good hilly trail run.

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 19:06:05 from 72.223.90.79

April - that's a veritable heat wave for you!

Seth - Come on down and join me some time. There's no hot pots to fall into.

From april27 on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 19:10:30 from 99.188.251.180

OMG! I just watched the news (we get chicago news) and in our area it is 81! omg! It was 40 at my race!!! YUCK! i hate heat!

From allie on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 20:01:52 from 174.23.241.50

april - let's make a deal. i have a backyard full of snow that i can ship to you if you can guarantee that you will send your 81 degrees to utah by tomorrow. i will throw in all the snow that's resting on the top of my car if you can guarantee that it will remain 81 degrees until the end of time.

From Bonnie on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 20:11:49 from 64.119.33.134

allie -- awesomely funny post!! (wheres the "like" button?)

From april27 on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 20:37:22 from 99.188.251.180

Oh allie how I wish I could make that deal!

From Merri on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 23:02:39 from 160.7.252.148

nice 3.19 race burt. btw my bishop's name is sheldon. creepy.

From Burt on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 at 23:46:58 from 72.223.90.79

I purposely don't try to creep you out all the time Merri. It just happens.

From Burt on Mon, Apr 04, 2011 at 12:58:08 from 206.19.214.144

Merri - about the 3.19. The RD really thought that a 5k was 3.2 miles. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was wrong.

From Claudio on Mon, Apr 04, 2011 at 16:43:22 from 96.234.242.14

Good job Burt! 93 degrees? I'm afraid to ask what's the weather like in July over there...

From Burt on Mon, Apr 04, 2011 at 17:06:40 from 206.19.214.144

I'll let you know when we hit 120 Claudio :)

From Karen on Mon, Apr 04, 2011 at 17:32:57 from 173.14.8.17

Hee! it was 84 on Saturday, then snowed Sunday, then by Sunday afternoon, my neighbors were swimming in their pool....SO I have farmer's tan and snow/wind chafe....lovely combination!

From Burt on Mon, Apr 04, 2011 at 19:39:28 from 206.19.214.144

Karen - try burning yourself with a cigarette. Then you'll have the trifecta!

From Teena Marie on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 00:22:14 from 67.2.71.182

Were you completely honest about your height and weight? Just wonderin'! :)

Nice job there!

From Burt on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 00:25:12 from 72.223.90.79

TEENA MARIE! Are you calling me fat?!

From Teena Marie on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 00:27:51 from 67.2.71.182

What????

C'mon now, Burt.

If I were going to call you Fat I would say something like: Hey Fatty Fat Fat!!!

I was just wonderin' if you were honest about your height and weight. :)

From Teena Marie on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 00:30:31 from 67.2.71.182

(Seriously, I was just wondering!!!!)

From Burt on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 00:31:53 from 72.223.90.79

Well. It's not like I got out a scale and a measuring tape. I do fluctuate quite a bit. But I'm sure I was within a pound or two, and an inch or two.

From Teena Marie on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 00:43:15 from 67.2.71.182

From Burt on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 00:58:04 from 72.223.90.79

I put 198 as my weight! Okay??? That's right. I'm Fatty Fat Fat!

From runningafterbabies on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 09:07:53 from 24.10.211.135

Sorry you never caught Farmer's Tan. I'm anxious to hear if you technically beat her time-wise. That still counts in my book.

From RAD on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 10:45:20 from 98.202.17.113

Excellent race Burt! Sorry my farmer's tan was so distracting for you :)

Interesting concept on the stagger start, must be good for something, but I can't figure it out.

From Burt on Tue, Apr 05, 2011 at 10:50:17 from 72.223.90.79

Melody - It's ok. Even with a farmer's tan, she had nice legs to look at the whole time. Wait, I mean, uh...I hope Bishop doesn't read this. Anyway, I sent the RD an email last night to see if he could send me the results.

RAD - At first I thought the staggerred start was brilliant because the trail was so narrow. However, since the race started out on the road, it would have thinned out before we hit the trail head.

From Burt on Wed, Apr 06, 2011 at 18:23:33 from 206.19.214.144

Here's the response when I emailed the RD about the results:

ya sorry i meant to have them ready sooner but i have been busy with school. i will email them to you asap. i will tell you this tho. you had the fastest time over all. and also there was a few mistakes that were made with the assigning of the start times. i am gonna post the corrections and it will show that you would have crossed the line first if you and others had started at the correct time. So great job burton. according to my height and weight formula you proved to be the best distance runner there.

From Karen on Thu, Apr 07, 2011 at 14:34:52 from 173.14.8.17

Honestly, Burt...you are the best!

From Burt on Thu, Apr 07, 2011 at 14:39:39 from 206.19.214.144

Frankly, I know. LOL!

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