Go, you chicken fat, go away!

November 17, 2019

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Member Since:

May 12, 2008



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run a half marathon in under two hours.

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.


I am married and have six kids. 

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, DooneEight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, JunKelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RADRhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 37.12 Year: 583.86
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles: 802.53
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles: 204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles: 149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles: 87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles: 800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles: 88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles: 103.15
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles: 800.21
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles: 3.99
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles: 178.62
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles: 9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles: 8.23
Total Distance

I'm not going to talk about that "other" subject, although I could thanks to an ill-mannered horse that traversed the sidewalk between today and yesterday.  Instead I want to talk about something else that is so embarrassing it makes my cheeks red - wedgies. 

Lately it seems I've been getting more and more of them.  Or I've noticed them more.  Why am I constantly having to untuck?  I may be carrying around a little extra junk in the trunk.  I've been toying around with that Clydesdale division again.  I know it can't be suction.  More often than not I'm ventilating.  Well, two dollars to whomever can solve this mystery.

Lady Liberty hasn't been around the last two days.  Don't people still have to do their taxes?  Yesterday my last half mile was the slowest part of my run so today I purposefully picked up the pace.  However, coming down the home stretch I saw my neighbor Jeff.  A couple of months ago he got in a bad motorcycle accident.  He shattered his knee, broke his neck in two places, and had to get 16 stitches in his head.  He flagged me down.  He asked if I could help the tow truck driver load his hog up so it could get fixed.  I was happy to oblige.  I think he was happy that I got my sweaty DNA all over his bike, too.

Time - 46:22 (avg. pace 8:23)

Splits - 8:24, 8:21, 8:35, 8:34, 8:25, 4:02 for 0.53 (7:39 pace)

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 5.53
Weight: 0.00
From DaleG on Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 14:32:46 from

Burt, I'm getting dangerously close to the Clydesdale division again, too! However, I haven't noticed any wedgies lately.....On me, not you.

Maybe Lady Liberty isn't around because the government is getting ready to shut down again.

From Burt on Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 15:13:47 from

Dale - who's giving you these inside tips? On the government. Not my undies.

From DaleG on Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 15:17:08 from

Burt, I have a sneaking suspicion that the government will shut down on the April 8th deadline. That's when the continuing resolution ends. I'm hoping it doesn't because my wife and I will be out of work until they can agree on a budget....unless they can agree on another two week extension.

From Burt on Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 15:22:57 from

If you lose your job I've got a little something that we can make a little mula with? Have you ever heard of nylon polymer?

From Rhett on Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 18:01:37 from

$2 is definitely not enough for my to go there Burt. I like your junk in the trunk theory though. Just lose all that weight back and see if it stops happening and then you will know if it is right or not.

From SlowJoe on Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 20:23:45 from

Might I suggest a spandex bodysuit? Just quit running by the children's bus stop in the morning and you should be fine.

From flatlander on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 10:14:28 from

Burt, you're a great neighbor I'm sure. Good run too. Don't know nuthin' about that other subject.

From Lily on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 10:27:46 from

I was just reading your blog and my 3 year walks up, points at your picture and asks: 'What's that?", instead of

who's that?'. LOL -I don't know either hunny.

From Burt on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 11:15:11 from

Rhett - $3? Final offer.

Joe - Do you think I'll look as good as Hugh Jackman?

Mark - I'm an okay neighbor.

Lily - I have a feeling your daughter is going to be one of "the beautiful people" just like you. But thanks for reading this peasant's blog.

From Chad Robinson on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 11:18:44 from

Forget the spandex body suit. I think some sweet flag pants are in order. No one will dare to question you.

From The Quiet Pirate on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 12:49:17 from

I have a phrase that I use to describe that creeping up of the shorts that I see on other runners (thankfully my neck prevents me from having to see it on myself).

I call it the "bermuda triange" because the middle of the shorts ride up in the back, leaving a missing space of clothing that is in the shape of a triangle.

Is the neighbor getting rid of the bike for good, or planning on riding again?

From AZDesertmonsoon on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 14:01:55 from

My guess is that the underwear are stetched out and you need some new ones that will retain their tautness, but here are some other ideas.


Is the check in the mail?

From Burt on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 15:05:47 from

Chad - do you think anyone thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!

QP - I'll post pictures later.

AZDM - that was very informative as is some of the other articles that author has written. Thank you.

From Karen on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 18:37:00 from

And you call my behind weak?? lunges, Burt, lunges!

And, apparently chapstick and a time machine to go along with Uncle Rico's van!

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