Go, you chicken fat, go away!

December 14, 2019

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Member Since:

May 12, 2008



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run a half marathon in under two hours.

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.


I am married and have six kids. 

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, DooneEight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, JunKelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RADRhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

Miles:This week: 5.16 Month: 26.26 Year: 637.24
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles: 802.53
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles: 204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles: 149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles: 87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles: 800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles: 88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles: 105.76
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles: 800.21
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles: 3.99
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles: 229.39
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles: 9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles: 8.23
Total Distance

I've been wanting to get some hill work in for a while because I have an enormous hill I have to run up at the Vegas Ragnar.  There's only one hill in the Phoenix area that is steep enough, long enough, and smooth enough to get a good workout in, Usery Pass.  It happens to be my favorite run, too.  But today it was miserable.

The neighbor that lives directly behind me, Mike, has been training for the Napa Valley Ragnar.  I told him I wanted to run Usery Pass this Saturday, and he said he was going to, also.  So he picked me up along with the Bishop's son, Tyler, who I used to work with.  We stayed together for most of the way up.  As we were about a mile in a group of bikers were flying down the hill.  It was still dark out and none of us had headlamps or reflective gear.  The bikers were PO'd when they saw us because they couldn't see us until the last second.  But guess what.  We could see them.  The were all yelling at us.  You know what bikers?  Do a real sport where you're not sitting on your butt!

With a mile to go before we reached the top Mike and I started to put some distance between Tyler.  We turned around at the top, crossed the road, and saw a smooshed scorpion.  Then Tyler rejoined us.  This is where it got miserable.  I wanted to fly down the hill, but all my efforts were focused on not having a blow out.  Dang it!  I tried to go as much as I could before I left!  These early morning runs really give me the runs!  I ran with Tyler all the way down.  With about a quarter mile to go I saw a wash cloth on the side of the road.  Had I seen it earlier I would have stopped and used it.  Anyway, I survived. 

Time - 1:13:44 (avg. pace 9:56)

Splits - 10:00, 10:58, 10:47, 9:57, 9:24, 9:02, 9:10, 4:29

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 7.43
Weight: 0.00
From Dan on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 12:27:45 from

Burt- Some observations that I think are positive:

A) You survived, well done

B) You saw the 'smooshed' scorpion, key to your survival since if it were alive you would have nimbly evaded it

C) You recognized these bikers for what they were

D) You left the wash cloth where it was, there was a very good reason it was laying there Burt (I got that in a fortune cookie you know).

Good day sir!

From Hamdog Alum on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 15:00:42 from

Nice workout Burt! Also nice work holding work controlling the force. Obviously the force is strong with you!

From Burt on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 15:12:21 from

Dan - Thanks for helping me see the positive side to today's runs. I mean run.

Hamdog - This young padawan has much more training. I barely survived the ride home.

From Bonnie on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 18:56:04 from

Things to learn for next time:

A. You don't own the mountain, the bikers had a right to enjoy it too.

B. Bring toilet paper, real runners go where/when they have to -- see blogs of Sasha, Paul, Nan, etc.

C. Scorpions have a tough life.

May the force be with you.

From Burt on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 18:59:25 from

A. The mountain does say PHOENIX on it. I'll have to change that to BURT.

B. If bringing toilet paper with me is the one thing I need to make me a real runner, why haven't I been doing it?

C. There was no paper scooping that scorpion!

From SlowJoe on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 19:51:51 from

Sounds like you should've crapped into the old washcloth and used it to fling your feces at the bikers like a monkey. Give them something to really yell about.

From Dan on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 19:57:44 from

LOLOLOLOL leave it to Joe to have the best idea for the wash cloth :P

From Burt on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 20:28:10 from

Joe - is there any wonder as to why I like you so much?

From julieesplin on Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 22:24:31 from

Toilet paper gets too sweaty and falls to pieces, wet wipes work better.

From Burt on Sun, Aug 28, 2011 at 01:17:32 from

But are wet wipes biodegradable?

From RAD on Sun, Aug 28, 2011 at 02:03:25 from

Nice work holding it all together today Burt.

From Rye on Sun, Aug 28, 2011 at 09:25:02 from

Wow! What great information on this blog. Joe.... Great idea, how long do you carry a wash cloth full of schnicky on your runs just waiting to launch it at some ignorant cyclist. Am I safe over here in Idaho?

From seeaprilrun on Sun, Aug 28, 2011 at 09:56:14 from

I'm too busy trying not to fall out of my chair laughing to comment any further. Joe--the mental image I have right now...

From flatlander on Mon, Aug 29, 2011 at 00:03:22 from

Good run, when is Vegas Ragnar?

From Burt on Mon, Aug 29, 2011 at 00:35:08 from

RAD - muscle control. Not muscle confusion.

Rye - Joe served in Afghanistan. He is trained to carry feces a long long way.

April - You laugh because you've been there.

Mark - Vegas Ragnar is Oct. 21 and 22. Do you want to join the team?

From Merri on Mon, Aug 29, 2011 at 10:11:18 from

See ya in Vegas.

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