Go, you chicken fat, go away!

March 29, 2024

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Location:

Mesa,AZ,USA

Member Since:

May 12, 2008

Gender:

Male

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run a half marathon in under two hours.

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.

Personal:

I am married and have six kids. 

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, DooneEight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, JunKelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RADRhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

Click to donate
to Ukraine's Armed Forces
Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles: 803.99
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles: 204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles: 149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles: 87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles: 800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles: 88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles: 180.06
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles: 802.77
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles: 56.47
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles: 800.75
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles: 9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles: 8.23
Total Distance
0.00

I got up this morning at 5:30am to help set up flags with the Boy Scouts.  As I was driving down the street I saw that the flags were already up.  I got to the other leader's street and saw him jogging back to his house.  He told me that one of the parent's already set them all out.  Nice.  So I fiddled around on Facebook for a little bit and went for a bike ride.

I could tell my back tire was a little low.  When you can feel every little rock and bump, it's a good indicator that your tire's lost some air.  And when your tire is low, you don't ride as efficiently as you could.  And it's not as comfortable.  Nevertheless, I pressed on.  I rode my Usery Pass loop.  It's 35 miles long and has 1100 feet of elevation gain.  It was a beautiful morning.

 

I was trudging up McDowell Road when all of the sudden a gas bubble came up, and I didn't hold back.  Burrrrp!  Of course right then, some dude passed me.  I apologized.  When I got to the bottom of the big hill at around mile 17 I stopped to eat some Shot Blocks and to listen to a phone message.  It was my boss.  I had asked him to call me when he got into work.  I called him back and we talked about business.  Then I told him I had a big hill to climb, so I better let him go.  I started up the hill.  It seemed like I felt stronger than I had before whenever I've rode up Usery.  At least I was able to go into higher gears than I usually ride in, which I thought was strange with my low bike tire.  Within the first half mile a coyote trotted out in front of me about 20 yards up.  He wouldn't stop for me to take a picture, though.

Half way up I started singing a made up song that would be great for Dora the Explorer.  It was something like this:

Don't stop,
Don't stop,
Not gonna stop,
'til I make it to the top.
Come on, Burt,
You can do it,
You can do it if you put your mind to it.

Of course, just then another dude went blowing by me.  I apologized to him for singing, but I don't think he heard the apology.  I'm sure he heard the singing.  When I was almost to the very top I started singing again.  This time I looked back to make sure nobody was behind me.  Good.  It was safe.  When I stopped, it wasn't long before some dude came out of no where and passed me again.  He said, "Good morning."  I'm not gonna lie.  He spooked me.  He spooked me good.  I just looked back, for crying out loud!  I told him as he zoomed by, "You scared the poop out of me!"  He said, "Sorry!"  And he was gone.

Now was the downhill.  My favorite part.  I was really picking up some speed.  When I got back into town I got stopped by a few annoying stop lights, but I was still flying along pretty well.  I was approaching Val Vista where I'd have to turn south.  Then it would be another 4.25 miles home.  I made up another song:

Gotta turn right,
Gotta turn right,
At the light
I gotta turn right.

But I never made it to the light.  My bike tire finally gave up.  I called my wife to come get me.  But I still got 30.75 miles in, and it was a pretty good ride.

Weight: 0.00
Comments
From SlowJoe on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 19:37:30 from 65.116.3.92

Burt-a Burt-a Burt-a the explor-a

He's a super cool explora-dora

Grab your cell phone!

Let's Go!

Call your wife!

Vaminos!

You can get a ride home!

From Burt on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 19:39:50 from 72.223.88.98

Slow Joe no singing!

Slow Joe no singing!

Aw, man!

From Derunzo on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 19:40:20 from 24.218.179.128

"Keeping it Aerobic Baby!"

But Burt is a full grown man

Doing the best he can

because he's climbing that hill

Telling his boss to chill.........

From Burt on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 19:52:34 from 72.223.88.98

I like it.

All comments must be in song,

What do you say?

But don't forget,

It's Memorial Day.

From Burt on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 20:25:57 from 72.223.88.98

That was a nice try Dale,

but your rhymes are an epic fail.

Just kidding, I'm being a knob,

But seriously, don't quit your day job.

(Actually you have a night job, right?)

From Tara on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 23:27:19 from 69.171.187.12

Way to go Burt! That's some legit miles on a legit course! I loved the singing and if I weren't tired, I would sing along, too. Nice one Slowjoe!

From Tara on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 23:28:15 from 69.171.187.27

I'll sing a song tomorrow....

From Burt on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 23:29:06 from 72.223.88.98

Thanks Tara. Looking forward to it.

From allie on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 07:46:52 from 161.38.221.168

cuando un amigo, ¡baila baila baila!

pies, pies, pies, pies, pies, pies, pies

cuando un amigo, ¡baila baila baila!

rodillas, rodillas, rodillas, rodillas

cuando un amigo, ¡baila baila baila!

cabeza, cabeza, cabeza, cabeza

cuando un amigo, ¡baila baila baila!

manos, manos, manos, manos

cuando un amigo, ¡baila baila baila!

caderas, caderas, caderas, caderas

los dos somos ver calvo

From Burt on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 10:58:01 from 71.216.109.214

Gracias allie. Gracias. Translation of the last line in the song: Both we are to see bald. Are you sure it shouldn't say "Los dos vamos a ser calvos?"

From allie on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 11:32:12 from 97.126.208.93

i haven no idea. ask babelfish. i spoke korenglish on my mission.

From allie on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 11:32:46 from 97.126.208.93

OMG. get over here, tara. big errors.

From Tara on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 17:49:31 from 75.169.136.44

Allie- Uh oh, everything looks good to me. That might be the problem. Thanks for summoning me, though. Besides, I'm on a break from Burt for the next 2 hours.

Also, I spoke Kahwowazam© on my mission. The people of Kawowza® loved me.

Burt, as promised, here is my poem/song/comment, intermingled with my second language... No need to translate, I think it speaks for itself.

His name is Burt, we all think he's a wersfmaenpz!

He biked so far, you'd think he vmdafi!

He runs he bikes, he even sings! But that's nothing compared to his skill in vospafooa!

Some call him a stalker, others a supporter. We all know he's a great eeoooepmes.

So, gapwemm and sseoigpmasd 'cause Burt's the best in all the pwmdddoia!

That last one's hard to translate, but it's "west."

Good job, Burt!

From allie on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 18:16:28 from 97.126.208.93

vospafooa! get a ® on that, right away.

From Burt on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 19:00:01 from 72.223.88.98

Wow Tara! That made me cry. A little.

From Tracy on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 20:06:37 from 50.103.230.233

Boy I wish I was clever. I'd post a really good song. Instead I give you this haiku:

Burt took a bike ride.

Tire flattened and wife came out.

She must love him. Why?

From Tara on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 20:18:20 from 75.169.136.44

"She must love him. Why?" Bwahaahaaha!! Good one Tracy!

From AngieB on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 20:26:50 from 65.130.67.86

@ Burt Wow! You need to patent those songs or someone may take them.

From Burt on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 23:26:51 from 72.223.88.98

Tracy - it's because I told her I have an inheritance coming at the age of 40. Boy is she going to be surprised.

Tara - You're dead to me now.

Angie - if you even try to take my songs, so help me....

From Tara on Wed, May 29, 2013 at 00:01:46 from 75.169.136.44

You stole that one, you stinker! And I stole it from Shark Tank.

From Tara on Wed, May 29, 2013 at 00:03:23 from 75.169.136.44

Angie- you can have mine. Just don't use the above registered and copyrighted words. I'm making literally one's of DOLLARS a year on those puppies.

From Burt on Wed, May 29, 2013 at 00:04:35 from 72.223.88.98

I think Angie would rather be the backup dancer in the music video.

From rAtTLeTrAp on Wed, May 29, 2013 at 23:28:50 from 24.19.80.36

I can't sing so I'll just say you deserve a Big Hand, Buster!

From ACorn on Thu, May 30, 2013 at 23:46:41 from 71.213.40.95

Burt Burt out on his bike

Just when he thinks he's alone...psych!

Can't control his bodily functions

Strangers witness his dysfunction

Didn't prepare just left with cheer

Decided to ignore the flat rear

His lovely wife saved his ass

I hope that wasn't too crass

Nice ride amigo!

From Burt on Fri, May 31, 2013 at 00:41:49 from 72.223.88.98

Trap - you've been watching too much of that show. And I really hope you didn't skip to Episode 54!

ACorn - at the risk of hurting everyone else's feelings, that was, hands down, the best song yet.

From rAtTLeTrAp on Fri, May 31, 2013 at 00:48:15 from 24.19.80.36

I did skip, only because I've already seen the first 3 seasons a couple times. I wanted to re-watch them before season 4, but didn't have the patience. I think they did a great job with the 4th and I'm psyched for the movie!

From Burt on Fri, May 31, 2013 at 00:48:57 from 72.223.88.98

I'll try to get you a VIP pass.

From The Quiet Pirate on Sun, Jun 02, 2013 at 15:59:58 from 71.55.88.19

Thank you for one of the most entertaining blogs I've read in a while. I've learned geography, foreign languages, and the fact that burping before you go up a big hill will help you go faster.

From RAD on Wed, Jun 05, 2013 at 23:13:12 from 76.27.82.202

Oh how I missed my dose of Burt! Hope that tire, song and gas bubble are all better now. Nice strong hill climb. A cat3 climb is NOT an easy one!

From Tara on Thu, Jun 06, 2013 at 14:51:21 from 75.169.143.201

I say a boom chic-a boom! I say a boom chic-a boom, chic-a rock-a, chic-a rock-a chic-a boom! Oh yeah, all right, one more time now. Did I ever tell you I went to Scout Camp once? I'm basically an Eagle Scout since I lived with a Silver Beaver. I can even do Order of the Arrow hoop dances, but that's another story. Come home from Scout Camp already.

From Burt on Fri, Jun 07, 2013 at 00:18:37 from 72.223.88.98

I'm home. Now leave me alone!

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