Go, you chicken fat, go away!

September 2011

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Member Since:

May 12, 2008



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run a half marathon in under two hours.

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.


I am married and have six kids. 

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, DooneEight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, JunKelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RADRhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

Miles:This week: 5.16 Month: 26.26 Year: 637.24
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles: 802.53
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles: 204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles: 149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles: 87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles: 800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles: 88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles: 105.76
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles: 800.21
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles: 3.99
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles: 229.39
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles: 9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles: 8.23
Total Distance
Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 22.32Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 16.82
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Exclusive photos of RAD at the NMAA, and Burt's blog is the only place that has them!


Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Say whuuut?  Burt ran today??

Well, it wasn't much, but it was something.  And no problems with the back.  Let's hope this trend continues.

Splits - 9:02, 8:55

Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 2.00
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

I hate to associate the time that I just ran with the distance that I just ran.  But I need to remember that I was running slow on purpose.  

Time - 27:35 (avg. pace 8:55)

Splits - 8:54, 8:50, 8:58, 0:53

Temp - 83

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 3.10
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Dear diary,

So I pulled up to an intersection to make a left hand turn and there were a bunch of cars in the queue.  We got an arrow and most of the cars went through.  It turned yellow, and I could have made it, but decided to wait because there were only a few cars that I'd have to wait for.  Then I saw the guy on the Harley behind me shake his head.  So I totally stuck my head out the window and gave him one of my famous confused yet condescending looks.  You know the one.  Then he started yelling at me about not going when I should have.  So I stuck my hand out the window (have you ever seen Master of Disguise?), and I said, "This is what you're doing.  This is what I want you to do."  Then he yelled at me to shut up.  So I yelled back, "Why don't you make me shut up, Harley man?!"  Then he drove behind me for a half mile until I was about to get on the freeway.  He pulled up next to me, and I stuck my head out the window again and said, "Hey, better safe than sorry, right?"  He said, "I agree with that."  Then I gave him a thumbs up, and everything was cool.

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 3.02
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Time - 26:30 (avg. pace 8:49)

Splits - 9:02, 8:45, 8:40 

Temp - 79

Speaking of Harley men, check out this story about a friend of mine that I've known since 1st grade.

Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 3.00
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Yesterday afternoon I played basketball.  I haven't done that in months.  I'm quite rusty.  You might even say I stink.  It was raining while I was playing.  My wife asked if I played outside.  Really?  Anyway, this morning I was sore.  The rain cooled things down some.  It was  72°, but with the humidity and my soreness, I couldn't really enjoy the cooler temps. 

Time - 28:00 (avg. pace 9:16)

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 3.02
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

My legs are even more sore than they were yesterday!  I just ran my regular route today, but it was a little more sunny because it was 10am.  I lost my job yesterday.  I could see the fish in the canal.  I stopped and got a drink at the water magic fountain.  I wonder if the water comes straight from the canal?

Time - 29:07 (avg. pace 9:36)

Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 3.03
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

I had a real cool blogger call me up yesterday to check on me.  I assured him (or her) that all is well, and I haven't quit running.  In fact, I wanted to get out last night, but that never happens.  

This morning I walked my younger daughters a quarter mile to school, then did my usual 5 mile 'round-the-city-block' run.  At the half way mark Sis. Strader honked at me.  She was car pooling my older daughters to their school.  Then at mile 5 I saw Br. Strader.  Some might call us BFFs.  Not me though.  I'm too old for a BFF.

Time - 45:37 (avg. pace 8:49)

Splits - 8:46, 8:36, 8:53, 9:02, 8:47, 1:33

Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 5.18
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

I wanted to run another 5 miles today, but as soon as I started going I knew that wasn't happening.  I'm so sore from basketball last night.  Not as sore as last week, but still pretty sore.  I ran a half mile, stopped, and stretched out.  That felt pretty good, but by mile 1 I needed to stretch again.  After that I felt like I could finish up, but since it was feeling so good to stop and stretch, I decided to stop again at mile 2.  Mile 2 is right as I turn to run along the canal.  Before I got there I saw a guy crossing the street at the canal.  The traffic was pretty busy so he had to stop in the middle of the street.  Then a van pulled into the center lane right around him like it was going to turn left, but it kept driving down the center lane.  That kind of annoyed me because it disrupted the jaywalker's groove.  So when I stopped at the canal to stretch I saw 5 school kids about 100 yards up that no doubt go to the alternative school at the corner.  They were spread out along the path like they owned it.  I started to stretch, but the van had flipped a U-y and had now turned on the path of the canal.  I moved over and almost fell down the embankment.  Then it drove and picked up the kids.  I had finished my stretching and was running behind it.  It stopped.  I thought it was because of the cyclist coming from the opposite way.  But it never started going again.  I ran by it and fully expected it to start going again and pass me.  It never did.  Maybe the alternative kids slit the driver's throat.  Who knows?  I stopped one more time at the magic water fountain.  Then I ran home.

Avg. pace - 9:04

Temp - 80°

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 3.04
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

This morning I wanted to do at least 5 miles.  I started out pretty good, but after a while I started crashing.  I decided to stop at the magic water fountain and evaluate how much further I would run from there.  I saw the vagrant that lives there sitting on the bench.  Well, if I'm not afraid of a Harley Man, I'm not afraid of a vagrant.  I ran right up to the magic fountain, and this is how the conversation went: 


     Good morning.


     Good morning.  How are you?


     Oh, I'm all right.  How about you?


     Pretty good.  (Slurp down some magic water.  Go over to the fence to stretch out some.)


     Nice that they put these water fountains in.


     Yes it is.


     (Finish stretching.)  Well, you have a good day.


     You do the same.

After that I decided that if I turned south on 32nd St. it would be close to 4.2 miles and that seemed appropriate since I was wearing my Pat Tillman race shirt.

Splits - 8:57, 8:48, 9:04, 9:30, 3:15

Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 4.39
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

There was no way I wasn't going to get a run in today.  But I was too lazy this morning.  I've been planning a luncheon with my old boss for a couple of months ever since we saw each other at our friend's funeral.  My so called BFF Brad picked me up.  We went to Red Robin.  It was great seeing the my coworkers again.  Those were the good old days.  Did you know Red Robin has bottomless root beer floats?  Well, I do.  And everyone kept daring me to get another one.  I put down three along with a Royal Red Robin Burger.  

After lunch I came home, applied for a job, and played on the computer.  Before I knew it, it was late.  I changed into my running clothes.  I was waiting for my wife to come home from her "special time."  I could hear a cop helicopter over head.  Now I wondered if I would be able to run at all.  My wife finally got home at 11pm.  I  thought I would have time to run 4.6 miles.  I didn't want to be out after midnight lest I turn into a pumpkin. 

I stepped outside, and the thermometer showed 90°.  There was a bit of a breeze.  Good thing I had a long sleeve shirt on.  I started running west towards Lindsay.  I wondered if I would suffer a massive heart attack based off my Royal lunch experience.  It was quiet.  Too quiet.  Where were all the cop cars my wife had just seen?  When would I get hit in the back by a baseball bat from an moving vehicle?  Any minute now I'm sure.  Come on Burt.  Don't psyche yourself out.  I was able to take my mind off my worries when I saw a tall guy out walking a big ol' bulldog.  As I approached them I yelled out, "On your left."  The gentleman moved to the side, but I don't think the dog spoke English.  When I passed it, I completely spooked it.  It took off in a straight line and was forced in a circle around the tall guy holding its leash.  He just laughed.  I thought it was funny, too and was feeling pretty good for spooking the mean dog.  Then I heard the paw steps coming up fast behind me.

Remember that time I said there was a bit of a breeze out?  Well, it wasn't paw steps.  It was leaves.  Leaves being blown in the breeze.  Now I wasn't feeling pretty good about myself and was back to waiting for the inevitable Thirstbuster to be thrown between my legs.  So to distract myself, I started doing the math to figure out if I could really make it home before midnight.  It seemed like it would be close.  I decided to cut a half mile off by coming up 32nd Street.  When I got to 32nd Street I looked at the time and said, "Let's go for it.  Up yours 32nd Street!"  I started to pick up the pace.  However, I knew that I had some uphill to do, it was hot out, and I was in serious jeopardy of suffering a myocardial infarction.  If I could just make it to Pueblo by 11:57pm, I might just make it.  There would be no magic water fountain this time.  I saw 11:55 on the clock and Pueblo was still a ways off.  I picked it up a little more and got to Pueblo.  11:57.  Okay, now I just have to hold an 8 min. pace.  Go Burt!  Do not cut through the park!  You might slip on the grass, get knocked out, and the vagrant will have his way with you.  Now I was really running.  Garmin shows my best time through here was a 5:40 pace.  I made it home at 11:59pm.  Woo hoo!  Still alive, no grapefruits to the chest, and virtue intact.  What a day.

Splits - 8:58, 8:47, 8:58, 8:36, 4:59 for 0.64

Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 4.64
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Another late night run.  But not as late as Saturday.  This time I got out at 9PM after a riveting family night.  When I walked outside I saw 4 of the youth that go to my church out for a run.  I demanded that they wait for me.  One of them likes my daughter.  And my daughter likes him.  But they're not boyfriend and girlfriend because she's 14 and he's 15, and that's NOT happening.  Maybe when they're 22 and 23.  I should not also mention that he is a blaxican.  But that doesn't have anything to do with anything.

Since two of them had to be home by 9:15PM, we ran down to the park and did three hill sprints.  Then they went home (I hope), and I ran around the block.  No panic attacks this time.  I'm not too fond of not being able to see the tree branches until I'm a couple feet away.   I finished my run, but didn't feel great.

When I got home my daughter's love interest saw me.  Apparently there is some teenage drama going on, and he was being mean, but he was sorry, and he wanted my help, and I didn't care, and mom is too funny to be serious around, blah, blah, blah.  I don't know.  But the funny thing is he touched my shirt twice and recoiled in disgust both times.

Avg. pace - 9:12

Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 4.72
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance
Asics Gel 3030 Miles: 22.32Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Miles: 16.82
Weight: 0.00
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