Go, you chicken fat, go away!

June 2009

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Member Since:

May 12, 2008



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run a half marathon in under two hours.

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.


I am married and have six kids. 

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, DooneEight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, JunKelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RADRhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

Miles:This week: 5.16 Month: 26.26 Year: 637.24
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles: 802.53
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles: 204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles: 149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles: 87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles: 800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles: 88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles: 105.76
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles: 800.21
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles: 3.99
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles: 229.39
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles: 9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles: 8.23
Total Distance
Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 37.90Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 Silver/Old Gold/Phantom Miles: 19.09
Weight: 198.67
Total Distance

Time - 41:40 (avg. pace 7:48)

Temp - 77

Splits -

1 mile - 7:44

2 mile - 7:48

3 mile - 7:53

4 mile - 7:54

5 mile - 7:46

0.34 miles - 2:36 (7:40 avg.)

Thank goodness for Rattletrap.  This morning my Garmin didn't turn on.  I would have flipped out and probably released my aggression in the form of bruises on my kids' butts (totally kidding), if I hadn't read RT's blog yesterday.  He said he merely had to reset it.  I went on-line to see how to do it, and voila (that's French for voila) it was back on in seconds.  So I took about twenty minutes to clear out some of my history.  Then I set it to alert me every 8:10.  But when I took off, I felt really good.  I felt like I could maintain the pace I was at for the entire run.  Oh man, I just looked at the clock.  I'm going to be late for work.  Bye now!

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 5.34
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Do not attempt to run 8 miles at 6pm when the only nourishment you've had in the day has been a slim fast, two glasses of water, 2 granola bars, and 2 pop tarts.  Just trust me on that. 

At about 2.75 miles this girl caught me.  She was pushing it pretty hard so I tried to keep up with her for a little bit and make small talk.  I should have tried the blade of grass trick on her, but I didn't think about it.

Time - 1:12:17 (avg. pace 9:02)

Temp - 99

Splits - 8:27, 8:26, 8:27, 8:40, 9:20, 9:36, 9:37, 9:45

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 8.00
Weight: 198.00
Total Distance


Distance - 17.5 miles

Time - 1:06:18

Avg. Speed - 15.8 mph

Max Speed - 21.5 mph

Beautiful morning to ride to work.  Nice and overcast.  Bit of a headwind when I turned west, but that helps to cool me down.

Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Nice morning out.  I saw a bunch of new faces today.  I even saw a dude that looks like he may be faster than me.  I'm going to have to break his leg.

Time - 44:35 (avg. pace 8:21)

Splits -

1 mile - 8:16

2 mile - 8:22

3 mile - 8:36

4 mile - 8:30

5 mile - 8:17

0.34 miles - 2:34 (7:33 avg.)

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 Silver/Old Gold/Phantom Miles: 5.34
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Last night my left calf muscle cramped up again in the middle of the night.  Seriously, it's the worst charlie horse ever.  My friend said that I need to drink more water.  But I don't want to pee the bed.

AM Bike Ride

Distance - 17.52 miles

Time - 1:06:26

Avg. Speed - 15.8 mph

Max. Speed - 21.7 mph

What a miserable ride home.  Headwind for 12.5 miles.

PM Bike Ride

Distance - 17.61 miles

Time - 1:19:56

Avg. Speed - 13.2 mph

Max. Speed - 20.3 mph

By the way.  I love the Suns dancers.  Who knew that so many of them were bloggers?

Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

No other fast dudes out running this morning.  They probably all have broken legs.  I did see the Hawk for the second time.  Br. Hawkins goes to church with me.  I think he recently lost his job, so that's why he has more time for running.  He's taking the Scouts on a 50 mile hike next week. 

No cramps last night, so I must not be pregnant, Lori. 

Hey, Rhett.  Remember that Cramp-No-More stuff we got at the Havasu Half?  I put that in my water last night, and it was de-skusting!  I tried to drink as much as I could.  Finally I put a single pack of Raspberry Ice mix in it.  That helped a little, but I couldn't finish it.  Maybe it had expired and was rancid.

It rained last night, but you wouldn't know if from looking at the sky this morning.

Time - 44:12 (avg. pace 8:18)

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 5.33
Weight: 197.00
Total Distance

A few observations lately:

1) I observed a couple of bruises on my legs between my hips and knees on the quads.  They kind of bugged.  I couldn't remember how they got there, but yesterday it dawned on me.  The smaller one on my right leg was from where my cell phone was hitting my leg on my 8 mile run last week.  The huge one on my left leg was from the frozen water bottle in my other pocket.  By the way, the ice completely melted to water in just over 4 miles.

2) I observed 5 neon yellow golf balls along Rittenhouse Road within a mile and a half stretch.  The wierd thing was, they all seemed out of reach of the driving range.  I figure Hansel and Gretel were not twins but quadruplets.  Their evil counterparts, Gransel and Hetel, were marking their path with them.  Marking your path with neon yellow golf balls is just pure dag-nasty evil.

3) I observed 5 ears of corn in between the sidewalk and the road today.  There is a corn field right across the Queen Creek Wash.  I wondered if they had fallen off the back of a truck or if some kids had picked them and thrown them there.  Either way it made me say, "Ah shucks."

Time - 22:19 (avg. pace 7:26)

Splits -

1 mile - 7:46

2 mile - 7:34

3 mile -6:59

This was the first time I've run a sub 7 on the third mile.  I hope I didn't push it too hard.  I feel a sharp pain in my left knee.

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 Silver/Old Gold/Phantom Miles: 3.00
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Today is my anniversary.  13 years of wedded bliss.  Just bliss.  We went out Saturday night.  We had gift cards to Black Angus and free movie tickets.  So it was a great cheap date.  My favorite kind.  We caught the 10:40 showing of Star Trek.  There were only 12 people in the room.  One lady by herself was for sure a Trekky, and I would guess she'd already seen the movie at least a dozen times.  She made sure the other 11 of us heard her laugh as soon as any joke was cracked.

Since my mileage has been quite pathetic the last two weeks, I decided to get some double digit action going today.  I saw a new guy running today.  He looked like he was going about the same speed I was, but I was OK with that because I wasn't trying to push it.  Plus, since I did an extra loop, I saw him again and figured he wasn't running as far as I was either.  I decided to slap him five, and he reciprocated.  I saw the old lady regular and the double stroller lady, too.  I actually saw her twice as I did my second loop.  Some day I'll have to ask her how far she runs.  I doubt she'll answer me.

Time -  1:24:22 (8:26 avg. pace)

My splits were pretty consistent.  I was going for an 8:30 pace.  Miles 8 and 9 had bumped up in the 8:40's, so I thought I needed to push the last mile.  I ended up doing it in 8:16.  My knee feels fine.

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 10.00
Weight: 200.00
Total Distance

I saw a lot of new faces out today.  I think I'm inspiring a lot of people to get out and run.  Everybody wants to be like me.  I'm quite sure of it.  Average pace today was 8:31.

No wildlife on the run, but I saw one dead rabbit, one dead snake, and 8 live prairie dogs on the bike ride. Who on the blog can I compare to prairie dogs?  They have to be small, fast, and cute.  Montelepsy?  Distance was 17.7 miles.  Average speed was 14.9 mph and max. speed was 20.5 mph.

Ouch.  The ride home.  My wife called me at work to see if I could be home by 4pm because the missionaries were coming to dinner.  I don't think she realized I rode my bike today.  So I took off at 3pm.  It was 90 degrees out.  Not too bad.  When I turned south there was a headwind, and I was afraid it would be as bad as last week's.  It was rough for a few patches, but overall I managed.  At one point a big diesel passed me.  Then all of the sudden the wind died and the riding became extremely easy.  It was like the diesel took the wind with it.  Is that possible?  So I cranked it to the highest gear and was cruising along at 26 mph.  It was wierd.  After about a half mile the wind came back, and I was back to going 16 mph.  Did you know lizards can run about 16 mph?  I spooked one, and it took off running alongside the curb.  It had no where to go but forward.  It finally tried to jump over the curb but couldn't make it.  That was funny.  Don't laugh at lizards.  So I was almost home and I had to go around the round-about by my house.  There was a car behind me and I didn't want to slow them down so I tried to zip around it as fast as I could.  I soon realized I was about to pull a Lucia.  Tuck and roll baby!  I'm a little banged up, and my bike is fine.  Hopefully my knee will feel good in the morning and I can go running.

And that's why you don't laugh at lizards.

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 Silver/Old Gold/Phantom Miles: 5.35
Weight: 200.00
Total Distance

My knee was feeling good enough to ride today.

AM Ride

Distance - 17.46 miles

Time - 1:06:02

Avg. Speed - 15.9 mph

Max. Speed - 21.6 mph


PM Ride

Distance - 3.45 miles

Avg. Speed - 17 mph

Max Speed - 19.5 mph

I went to Red Robin with my wife last night.  That's why the low PM mileage.  Those Royal Red Robin Burgers are delicioso!

Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

A little bit faster this morning.  I could feel the difference those last 5 miles.  I had to tweak my bike a little to get it dialed in.  I'm thankful not much damage was done after crashing.  Mostly to my ego.

AM Ride

Distance - 17.47 miles

Time - 1:05:16

Avg. Speed - 16.1 mph

Max. Speed - 23.4 mph

Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Weight: 0.00
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Total Distance

AM Bike Ride

Distance - 17.47 miles

Time - 1:03:01

Avg. Speed - 16.6 mph

Max. Speed - 22.0 mph

Temp - 86

Sweat levels - minimal

I haven't been feeling good lately.  I think this bike ride was just what I needed.

PM Bike Ride

Distance - 17.59 miles

Time - 1:01:01

Avg. Speed - 17.3 mph

Max. Speed - 24.9 mph

Temp - 99

Sweat levels - manageable


Weight: 0.00
Total Distance


Sweat level Chart for Riding a Bike to Work

 Bone dry  1
 Minimal  2
 Manageable  3
 Comfortably moist  4
 Sweat of the brow  5

That will leave a mark (crust of salt)

 Sir Dripalot  7
 Harlot in church  8
 Profuse  9
 Captain Insano  10


Above is how i gage my allowance of sweat for riding to work.  Anything over a 3 is not good.

Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

AM Bike Ride

Distance - 17.48 miles

Time - 1:03:26

Avg. Speed - 16.5 mph

Max. Speed - 21.1 mph

Temp - 87

Sweat levels - manageable


PM Bike Ride

Distance - 17.50 miles

Time - 57:20

Avg. Speed - 18.3 mph

Max. Speed - 24.6 mph

Temp - 92

Sweat levels - sweat of the brow

Now that's how you get home!  Fun ride.  I had some stupid teenagers yell at me.  They didn't realize they were quickly approaching a red light.  I caught them at the light and mysteriously their window was now up.  They're lucky I didn't hear what they said or I would have had a nice conversation with them.  Instead I yelled at them to keep their window up.  Then as they passed me again the window was down, and I yelled at them to roll it back up.


Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

AM Bike Ride

Distance - 17.67 miles

Time - 1:09:13

Avg. Speed - 15.3 mph

Max. Speed - 20.6 mph

Temp - 82

Sweat levels - minimal

Sometimes I wonder if I took the top 70 quarter milers in the US and they raced me relay style on my bike to work, would I win?  Not today.  Today was humid, so I took it nice and easy.  I didn't want to be in danger of going above a sweat level of 3.

PM Bike Ride

Distance - 5.02 miles

Time - 20:02

Avg. Speed - 15.0 mph

Max. Speed - 19.9 mph

Temp - 105

Sweat levels - manageable

Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

I did not want to get the goose egg for the week, so I went out running.  I just took it nice and easy.  Here's the real story.  It all started on Mother's Day.  We made breakfast in bed for my lovely wife.  The problem was, I have so many kids, and each one wanted to make her something.  So we ended up making her far more food than she would be able to eat.  Waffles, pancakes, scrambled eggs, egg mcmuffin, oatmeal, cereal, and some kind of marshmallow creation my 6 year old made.  So on Father's Day my wife decided to return the favor.  I had eggs benedict, pancakes, sausage patties, sausage links, bacon, chocolate milk, tomato juice, Tampico, oatmeal, and scrambled eggs.  I'm sure there was more.  I did my best at eating all of it.  That's when I noticed the chest pains.  I wasn't sure if I had a small heart attack, so I've been taking it easy.  Then it started to feel the same as when I strained my rib cage.  So I thought maybe it happened when I wrecked my bike.  Anyway, I'm stupid for not going to a doctor, but Chuck Norris would never go to a doctor.  With Michael Jackson dying this week due to heart failure, there's one thing I can learn from him.  That is don't trust the girl next door.  She might not be your lover, but she could be a girl that claims that you are the one.

I did the first 3 miles on my own.8:47 average.  Then I took Katelynn out for a run.  She did 0.63 miles at a 14:59 average.

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 3.88
Weight: 0.00
Total Distance

Hooray for not being lazy!  Again this morning I took it nice and easy.  I still don't have a full range of motion with my right arm.  But it's starting to warm up, so I don't really want to push it anyway.  The old lady regular was out this morning pumping those arms.  She was wearing less clothes than usual, so I'll struggle to get that image out of my head for the rest of the day.  Ta ta!

Time - 46:12 (avg. pace 8:33)

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 Silver/Old Gold/Phantom Miles: 5.40
Weight: 198.00
Total Distance

Like the wise poet C. Dion once said, "It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now."  I felt pretty good today.  Almost pain free.  It was 84 degrees out and I had Captain Insano sweat levels.  My average pace was 8:28.

AM Ride

Distance -  17.47 miles

Time - 1:06:29

Avg. Speed - 15.8 mph

Max. Speed - 20.9 mph

Temp - 88

It was a real nice ride to work today.  But towards the end I was wishing I was done.  I stay relatively cool while I'm in motion, but when I have to stop at a stop light, it's like baking in an oven.  And it's only gonna get hotter.

PM Ride

Distance -  17.47 miles

Time - ??? (Forgot to start my Garmin until about a mile into it.)

Avg. Speed - ??? mph (Forgot to stop my Garmin when I got home.)

Max. Speed - 24.2 mph

Temp - 103

Even though it was hot, the first 2/3 of the ride was very enjoyable.  The last 1/3 was against the wind.

Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 5.35
Weight: 199.00
Total Distance
Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 White/Classic Blue/Raven Miles: 37.90Mizuno Wave Inspire 4 Silver/Old Gold/Phantom Miles: 19.09
Weight: 198.67
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