Go, you chicken fat, go away!

December 14, 2019

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Member Since:

May 12, 2008



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run a half marathon in under two hours.

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.


I am married and have six kids. 

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, DooneEight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, JunKelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RADRhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

Miles:This week: 5.16 Month: 26.26 Year: 637.24
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles: 802.53
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles: 204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles: 149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles: 87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles: 800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles: 88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles: 105.76
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles: 800.21
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles: 3.99
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles: 229.39
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles: 9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles: 8.23
Total Distance

Once upon a time when I was in first grade, I had a best friend named Robbie Schuster.  One day I was at Robbie's house playing.  Back in 1978 it was okay for first graders to use the same toilet at the same time.  So we did.  There was one little problem.  I was, and still am to this day, a horrible aim.  I peed on Robbie's leg.  Robbie exclaimed, "You peed on my leg!"  From the other room his mother called, "Robbie!  Get over here!"  I stayed in the bathroom for fear of what might happen to Robbie for saying the P word.  "Please mom don't spank me!  Please mom don't spank me!"  Robbie got a spanken' because I peed on his leg.

I tell that story because today my wife had gastric bypass surgery.  Guess who the surgeon was?  Yep, you guessed it.  Robbie.  The boy I haven't seen since jr. high when he moved away.  I sure hope he didn't leave any "surprises" inside my wife's stomach today.

Anyway, spent all day at the hospital.  No running.

Weight: 0.00
From SlowJoe on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 17:49:03 from

What a day, how often do you get peed on and spanked within minutes of each other?? For me probably only 3 or 4 times...

Speedy recovery to Mrs. Burt!

From rAtTLeTrAp on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 17:53:43 from

Hope Mrs. Burt has a speedy recovery and didn't get peed on while she was unconscious.

From Burt on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 19:11:21 from

Joe - slow down there! I don't need to know about your bedroom antics.

Mike - Mormons don't believe in anesthesia.

From The Quiet Pirate on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 19:25:06 from

Brilliant story! I do hope the Mrs recovers quickly.

I heard that the tin foil hats Mormons wear block the pain so anesthesia is unnecessary.

From Hamdog Alum on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 20:08:59 from

Hope your wife has a speedy recovery. My wife recently told me that Doctors are classifying Gastric Bypass as the #1 treatment for Diabetes and Obesity now.

From ACorn on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 20:41:29 from

Is there a moral to this story?

Speedy recovery to Mrs. Burton!

From Burt on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 21:45:56 from

Pirate - and they cover our horns.

Erick - I would say that it seems like the easy way out but the people who have it done have to adhere to a strict diet and exercise regime.

Adam - do my stories ever have morals?

From flatlander on Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 10:04:24 from

Great story, really hope your wife is doing fine.

From Burt on Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 17:15:31 from

thanks everyone. She's home now.

From Bonnie on Sun, Apr 01, 2012 at 17:07:21 from

Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard I almost (I said almost) pee'd on my dog Keiko's head (she is sitting under my chair.

Seriously, best wishes to Victoria for a speedy recovery.

From Burt on Sun, Apr 01, 2012 at 17:16:45 from

Peeing on others is contagious.

From Rhett on Mon, Apr 02, 2012 at 13:49:48 from

Hilarious Burt. I'm glad I came over to your blog today. I needed a laugh. I hope your wife is doing well.

From Burt on Tue, Apr 03, 2012 at 07:15:33 from

As long as she stays on her pain medications, she does fine.

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